This case is devastating and it underlines something that those of us at Woman’s Trust have long known: domestic abuse is not just about isolated incidents of violence, it is a sustained pattern of coercion, control and fear that can leave women feeling there is no safe way out.
At Woman’s Trust, we see every day how the cumulative impact of abuse, physical, emotional and financial, can erode a woman’s sense of self, her independence and ultimately her hope. Kimberly Milne’s death is a tragic reminder of how dangerous these dynamics can become when coercive control escalates unchecked.
One survivor supported by Woman’s Trust tells her story candidly:
“There is no escape. That is what you believe.”
Erica* is clear: suicidal thoughts did not emerge from nowhere. They were cultivated.
“He would say to me, ‘Why don’t you just kill yourself and f*** off?’ He’d tell me I was unfit to make decisions. He’d threaten to take away our passports. You feel caged.”
Coercive control, she says, is like a psychological siege. The verbal degradation sinks in. “Because somebody told me those words about what I was, it seeps into your blood.”
When the physical assaults came, they reinforced the message: this can happen again. It will happen again.
“You would rather end it yourself,” she says quietly. “Maybe that feels less paralysing than staying in that situation. There is no escape. That is what you believe.”
Research has long shown that domestic abuse is a significant risk factor for suicide among women. But Erica believes the link is still misunderstood.
Stark figures show that there are more domestic abuse deaths by suicide than by homicide, with at least 2 women’s deaths by suicide a week (NPCC, 2024). Yet there has been only one criminal conviction for manslaughter in UK legal history where a woman has died by suicide following domestic abuse, and now the first in Scotland.
“If someone considers taking their life because they can’t take the abuse, someone is doing that abuse to them,” she says. “You have to ask why they did it. There is always a back story.”
The latest conviction in Scotland is significant. It sends a clear message that perpetrators can and will be held accountable for the full consequences of their abuse, including when it drives someone to take desperate actions to escape. But justice after the incident is not enough.
What is urgently needed is earlier intervention with mental health support, greater awareness of coercive control and sustained support for survivors.
Women must be able to access specialist mental health support and domestic abuse services BEFORE they reach crisis point. No one should feel that jumping from a bridge is their only option.
Alongside 100 sector partners, Woman’s Trust has written to ministers demanding that specialist mental health support for survivors be prioritised, backed by dedicated funding of £27 million per year.
Our thoughts are with Kimberly’s loved ones. Her story must be a catalyst for change, so that other women are heard, believed and supported to live free from abuse.
*Not real name
